Pointless Waste of Time
by tomfoolish
Summary: Impatient Legsie and dumbhead Aragorn. Slash.


Disclaimer:        All the characters belong to J.R.R. Tolkien. No profit done.

Author:             Minstrel and Saga

Summary:         Two girls, nothing to do, writing sentences in turns. And here it is, pointless waste of time. Slash. …just imagine us daydreaming.

Rating:              PG-13

Feedback:        Don't you dare!

Pointless Waste of Time

There they were, together, holding hands. Both blushing, yet determined not to care about the looks on the faces of their (former) friends.

'Darling--' he began.

'Yes honey?'

'Nothing really. I just wanted to confirm that you're there.'

'I wouldn't want to be anywhere else,' he said, thinking that if he had the chance he'd go and have a long sip from his pocket flask.

Legolas turned his head to face Aragorn and smiled. __

_Darn, _Aragorn thought_, why does he have to be so perfect? I really need that sip._

_A haircut. And a bath. I'll give him a nice long bath once we get out of here. Mmm…soapy Aragorn…_Legolas kept on smiling, almost too cunningly, but felt like he had to turn his head away.

_Why on Middle Earth he smiles like that? Do I have something on my face? Actually he looks quite hot with that smile… Shame that my Elvish is not good enough for 'come and shag my brains out'._

So now what? Why does everyone keep on staring at us? I know that they're jealous, but they have their own little thingies going on. Like hobbits never do it!

'I think that we should have a little… conversation. In private,' Aragorn said, glancing his friends threateningly.

'Yes, I'd like that,' Legolas responded. Conversation… Does he really mean conversation or am I sensing that he might want something else too? A quickie?

'Can I come too?' Merry and Pippin exclaimed simultaneously.

'NO,' Aragorn uttered forcefully. Legolas, in his part, seemed somewhat disappointed. Why not? What's wrong with cute little hobbits? Always so merry and gay! 'Oh.' 

Legolas's exclamation surprised Aragorn, and looking again at the two hobbits he decided not to disappoint them.

'Of course I don't want to be so rude or anything… On the second thought, you might as well come,' Aragorn found himself saying. Damned elf, makes me this sappy. This is not me acting!

'So what do we talk about then?' asked Merry innocently.

Legolas smirked. Does he know that by doing that he turns me on? 'Umm… union between different races?'

'Yeah, union. You boys must already know things about liking and love and unions and, well, getting physical,' Aragorn hastened to continue. 'So…'

I want to get physical. Now. Legolas was looking impatient.

'… so you may come if you're interested. Oh look, there's an oliphant!'

'Where?' Aragorn asked.

While Merry and Pippin looked away Legolas dragged amazed Aragorn to a nearby shrubbery. A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do! It's a rough game, boys.

Pulling down his tights, sorry, pants, Legolas found Aragorn already interested in something else. 

Ahh… the sip I've longed for ages. Aragorn drank passionately. 'Legsie, what are you doing?!'

'Umm… I just noticed ...umm… a ladder in my tights, sorry, pants, and I …umm… have to change.' Legolas looked at Aragorn lustily, hoping that he wouldn't buy his explanation.

'You might want to use some nail polish on that. Ask Gandalf if he has any.'

'I will. But later.' He stepped closer and wrapped his arms around him.

A little voice inside Aragorn's head was telling him that now was his last possibility to run. Fast.

'Shag my brains out, please,' Legolas whispered in Elvish and kissed the ragged man fervently.

Dammit! Give me a cup of tea? Give me brains? Brains…out… Oh. 

When Aragorn started to realize what was actually going on, Legolas had already torn several pieces of clothing off him. He could feel himself getting excited. He grabbed Legolas's head between his hands and answered to the kiss with enormous force. Breathing heavily, they looked at each other.

'Aragorn, take off your sword, please.'

'I'm not carrying it at the moment,' he responded, puzzled.

'OH.'

And then we decided that it would be better for both of us not to write the ending. They will either shag each other's brains out or an anonymous backup hobbit will intervene in the most inappropriate moment. You have your imagination, so dream on girls.


End file.
